PHIDIAS V: Tosha, the Russian boy- Part 2

In that time I didn't get to know much more about Andrey's family. I knew his parents were dead; he had three elder brothers whom I barely ever saw from a distance and a pack of nephews and nieces; one of his maternal uncles was his closest relative, whom he had learnt his job from. None of them ever visited my father's and that enmity still seemed strange to me. From the few occasions my cousin ever talked about it I deduced they had never approved neither of his trade, nor of the fact he got my mother, nor he keeping Lyuba, who didn't even share his blood, after her demise. I wondered what they thought of the kind of relationship they were maintaining.

But I couldn't blame Father for their differences. They sure had to be a strange family, keeping themselves away from the village and barely going to the church or taking part in festivities. Nobody dared to badmouth them, that was true, and the roads were safe thanks to their efforts, but everybody tried to keep them at a distance.

That pained me because of Andrey. He was a social and affable person, and I couldn't stand he idea of anyone mistrusting him. Had he chosen his relatives, by any chance? But he never complained about it nor I, needless to say, dared to criticise his people. My only consolation was that he got along with Father and, why should I deny it, that his dubious reputation kept girls at bay, for I am sure they'd had harassed him constantly otherwise. My cousin could be a possessive person but I, believe me, wasn't far behind.

He often disappeared into the forest, sometimes more than one day long. I knew it was his job, and it couldn't be helped: if they caught sight of a dangerous beast it was possible they had to spend days tracking it to hunt it. That made me proud of him but I also feared for his safety. Those scars on his body spoke loud and clear of the kind of life he was leading. I'd have never wanted him to change it, but I must confess I'd have felt better if I'd been able to go with him. I was naive, wasn't I? I would have been nothing but a stupidly dangerous burden. And yet that seemed one hundred times more appealing than waiting for him, hoping he'd manage to squeeze some time to see me; or those endless days that followed one another without any news from him, until I could finally hear his voice by the hall and breath again. Although it was unlikely that my candid wishes would ever come true: Andrey had made perfectly clear that I should never go into the forest alone, and he was always very cautious every time he came with me. A couple of times I asked with resentment if he was taking me for a girl. He used to chuckle and joke about it, saying that he had checked first hand I wasn't; also that if I were, most probably he wouldn't even think of walking into the forest with me; and that even if I were as tall as a bear and as wide as a river, still he wouldn't want me to expose myself to any danger or seeing me hurt in any way. Admittedly I wasn't a girl, but damn myself if pleasure didn't make me blush as one.

My virility was a subject I used to think about by then. The nature of my feelings for Andrey was clear to me, and I thought I wasn't wrong about his own ones. What we did in our sanctuary, the kisses, the caresses, the sex... weren't but the logical consequence of us belonging to each other. But alas no, I wasn't a girl. I had been raised to me a man, and the basis of masculinity was dominating, not being dominated. From an objective point of view the concept would had made anyone snicker, since it was obvious that I couldn't aspire to anything but being clay in my cousin's big hands, and if anyone should be playing the submissive role... that had to be me.

Undoubtedly Andrey was even more convinced of that. In the very moment we were alone my body would turn into his toy, his possession. During the little time he needed to get me undressed he used to make me feel as if my hands wouldn't belong to me, considering the way he had of holding them until he had satisfied his desire to uncover my whole skin and slip his tongue along whatever parts were getting his attention right then. Oh, it wasn't like before: he also stripped and sometimes he'd even let me help him to get rid of his clothes. But he'd never give me much time to enjoy it as I wanted, since he'd soon wrap his muscular arms around me and take me however he liked. Every time he penetrated me, only one person knew how and how long it would take: Andrey.

He didn't do it consciously. In time I came to understand that it was his nature, that he hadn't preconceived roles in his head, that it simply was his way of getting pleasure from me and giving it to me in turn... and did he give it to me! I can't deny that: to the point of exhaustion, almost rendering me unconscious. I remember one occasion in which Father was on a trip and I had decided to sneak out of the house and spend the whole night with Andrey. The perspective of the long hours we'd spend together spurred us on to jump on each other like beasts. I would have even sworn I heard him growling, and it comes to my mind that he had to kiss me or cover my mouth enough times so that my screams wouldn't attract unnecessary attention. I can't remember how many times we did it that night, but I know I fell into deep slumber, caused by exhaustion, and it couldn't be long before his hands and lips woke me up, kneading my buttocks, kissing and nibbling the base of my spinal cord. Believe me, there was no part of my body that wouldn't feel numb, and that one, more than any other... but believe it or not, in mere minutes he slipped it inside of me again. And in some more minutes I moistened the palm of his hand with my sperm once more. Being human and being young can be so gratifying, can't it, Elias? Two more days passed before I returned home. I can't remember how I managed, I couldn't if my neck depended on it...

That was the kind of dilemma I was immersed into: happy and satisfied for having him, slightly frustrated about that vague feeling of not being at his same level. A cold winter evening I received a nice surprise upon entering the sanctuary, frozen to the bone: my cousin had already heated up the room with a good pile of wood burning in the fireplace. He looked at me and smiled, his visage partially lit by the flames; then approached me, guided me towards the fire and helped me to remove my winter clothes, rubbing my arms and chest to warm them up and gently breathing on my face to defrost the ice floe my nose was at the moment. Touching him alone was a pleasure, because he radiated as much heat as the hearth, and he never complained even if I placed my frozen hands on his chest. He reached for the herb-flavoured vodka and handed it to me, but then seemed to change his mind; he uncorked it, took a long sip, leaned over me and made me drink from his mouth. If there were any traces from the outer cold left on my lips I can assure you that made them disappear completely. The burning liquor went down, heating my throat, to my stomach, and then again as he shared another sip. Vodka had always warmed me up from head to toes, but delivered like that... suffice it to say that it had certainly heated some other part between, and would you believe it, while some things lose stiffness when they get rid of the cold, some others, in exchange, acquire it...

Andrey noticed my colours had revived, but still offered me another drop of restorative. Yet this time he didn't unstick his lips: he left them on mine, with the perfect excuse for his tongue to enter my mouth and savour the alcohol. It lingered there for a long time; mine did the same. It was the most perfect spice I could think of to aromatise a good liquor. I tilted my head to the left and to the right, tasted, licked, sucked; when my tongue was no longer enough my lips started to drink from his, to nibble them, and my face couldn't find a comfortable and satisfactory position to do it any more: it simply craved for trying them all...

Andrey started to undress me, I imitated him. It looked like a competition to see who could release more skin in less time... although of course I lost. Once he had unfastened my trousers he simply sat me on the table and pulled them down until he had me completely naked; he installed himself between my open legs and took possession of my rear, drawing me close to him until my hard penis rested on his groin. It was so kind of him to let me continue with my task; heh, not really, he simply had no choice, because keeping his weapon sheathed in his trousers wouldn't allow him to do much. And it wasn't easy for me to help him to unsheathe, so close to him he was holding me, rubbing me against his body through the fabric, my hands stuck between our members, brushing both of them while removing the irritating wrapping. But as soon as I could release the beast, I took my time to glide my hands up and down that thick piece of wood, tracing the lines of his veins, the taut string of his frenum, the slippery slit of its extreme.

To release the beast... so appropriate words, I assure you. Without even letting my lips go Andrey seized my backside and lifted me up as easily as if I were a child. The movement took me by surprise and I could barely react and hold on to his shoulders. And that wasn't all, for he pushed me against the wall so tightly that the pressure itself kept me pinned on it. His hands moved slightly between my thighs, forcing me to spread them even further, and his wet ram entered me with terrifying ease, considering its size. You could say I had become the perfect sheathe for my cousin's weapon. He went in and out several times, and when he managed to pull some moans out of my mouth...

That used to be the moment in which sanity seemed to abandon him and all turned into a furious episode of lewdness that didn't come to a halt until my body hadn't paid homage to his ability. It was an enervating sensation, watching myself trapped against that wall, his wide chest so close to mine that he barely left me room to breath; his lips, at the same time, stealing the air out of my lungs. It wasn't enough for him yet: raising his right hand he managed to grab my arms and stretch them over my head, that mighty fist of his imprisoning my wrists apparently effortlessly.

Unable to move, just slightly aware of my legs swinging as he sheathed and unsheathed me... Unable to articulate words, just moaning inside his mouth... I believe never before as that day had I realised how powerless I could feel in his arms. I could barely think, drowned in pleasure: that was certainly true. And his expression revealed to me that he was feeling the same, that he also belonged to me. But...

When I was about to come I seized his hips as strongly as I could. My muscles were so tense that it was almost painful, although at that point I was no longer able to recognise what kind of sensations my brain was commanding me to feel. I yelled into his mouth and fired my own weapon in a series of violent bursts, almost unaware of the extra thrusts that pierced me before he did the same. Those weren't many, I must say: apparently he had been having a hard time trying to hold back not to climax before me.

He let go of my lips, we both needed air. But he found a new occupation for his soon enough, sticking them to the base of my neck and starting to kiss it so deeply that he almost sank his teeth into it. I know it very well because the bruise on my skin lasted for days. He seemed not to want to release me, nor to get out of me, and was so excited with that position that he might as well have kept thrusting.

'Ah... Andrey...' I said, after getting a minimum of breath back. 'I have... I have to know... Do you... do you see me as a woman?'

That immobilised him. He left my neck alone and shot a serious, piercing look at me. It was obvious his brain had regained its sanity. He clenched his jaw, pulled out fast and threw me on the seat, and fairly roughly, mind you. I landed uncomfortably on my back, although it wasn't long before I had him on top of me, trapping me with those arms that could be so inflaming and so intimidating at the same time. Same as his gaze...

'Tosha,' he told me with agitated voice, since his breath wasn't normal yet, 'care to explain what's the meaning of that question? Did I ever gave you to understand in the least that I saw you as one?'

'I... can't help it... The way you try to protect me... the way you... take me... Maybe I'm a wimp, compared to you. Maybe I really look too much like my mother and, without noticing it...'

Andrey held my cheeks so firmly I couldn't continue. His eyes, under his thick and extraordinarily knit eyebrows, pierced me very unkindly.

'Don't keep talking because you'll make me angry. Tosha, I never felt attracted to anyone until I met you. To be honest, I couldn't have cared less if you were a boy or a girl. Do you know those goosebumps, that... impulse you feel when you see somebody, that tells you that person is special, that tempts you like honey tempts a fly and there's nothing you can do about it? That's what you are for me. True, at first it didn't matter if you were male or female, but now, Tosha...' he eyed me up and down before he continued. His penis rested between my legs and upon saying this he rubbed his groin against mine in such an erotic way that it made me shiver, 'I tell you I can't imagine a body more beautiful than yours, and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.' The hand grabbing my cheeks loosened. He lowered his head and leaned his forehead on my neck. 'And the way I take you... my only excuse is that I still can't control myself, you drive me crazy, you...'

He looked at me again, then lay on his back besides me. His hands held my waist and easily placed me on top of him. That was a brand new experience, having to look down at him. My hair hung down both sides of my face, and Andrey gently tucked it behind my ears.

'Now you'll be the one taking the initiative, all right?' he told me, stretching his arms along his sides. 'I'll stay here, very obedient, and you'll be the master until you have enough of it. I'm all yours...'

I frowned, incredulous. For once I was on top and my cousin had willingly placed himself at my mercy... For a moment I toyed with the idea of enjoying him in the same way he always did. Would I dare? And what was more important, did I really wished it? I didn't know how it felt penetrating my partner, I had never tried. Maybe one day I'd do it, why not? But not there, nor then. I didn't know how it felt, but I couldn't imagine the feeling would be more intense than being entered by Andrey... so I spread my legs, grabbed that huge wet mast and started to guide it through my rear entrance. And most of our kind fear wooden stakes? By Cain... to know what a stake was, I would have challenged them to impale themselves on that crotch...

Andrey watched me, half amazed, half excited. His pulse quickened as his flesh filled me little by little. He was obviously fighting the impulse of reaching for my body and seizing it, and control the swinging of my hips. My hair hid my face again but he didn't even dare to move it aside, and just tried to catch a glimpse of my expression behind my long locks. I smiled between my moans, and his self-control moved me so much that I clasped his hands for them not to miss my skin, and used them to take impulse. The look in his eyes... I couldn't help but feeling as if I truly were his owner.

I am not saying the dominant Andrey disappeared that day. He didn't, and I wouldn't have wanted it. But I can say he moved to one side and left some room for me on the command seat...

Time passed. Our lives continued the same, dealing with our duties during the day, enjoying each other when we were alone. When I was eighteen I had acquainted myself with my father's trade; it didn't attract me in the least, even less knowing my cousin's people didn't approve of it, but I couldn't see a way of escaping. As for Andrey he continued his job, bringing some new wound now and then, but coming back. Always coming back.

One afternoon I unintentionally heard a conversation between my father and Lyuba. Father was commenting my cousin's relatives were trying to force him to take a wife, and he refused. He was saying that, truth be told, he was the youngest son and his brothers had taken care of blessing the family with many children, but it was also true Andrey should be thinking of settling down instead of loafing around with me.

I felt like I was lacking air: not only they pretended Andrey... my Andrey to get married, but also... he hadn't told me a word about it. Didn't he trust me? And thinking I had had to hear it from my father...

I left the house in a rush. I had to speak to him and I couldn't wait. Where would I find him? He wasn't in our sanctuary, nor in its surroundings. Accompanied by the dogs I approached the edges of the forest: should I be bold enough to go in? My cousin had warned me about a couple of careless locals that had got lost during the last weeks and had added I should keep myself safe. And he was very serious.

I tried to walk back, I really did. But the pins and needles in my stomach wouldn't let me rest. What if he didn't come back until nightfall? What if he didn't come back that day? It couldn't be that bad if I just went a bit deeper into the trees, if I just followed the path. Moreover the dogs would protect me and... it was his fault, he should have told me about it... Oh, Andrey...

I walked for an hour along a familiar area we had visited together. I didn't notice anything special at first, but as we walked the dogs starter to get nervous. Obviously that wouldn't help to calm me down but I still felt safe, because we hadn't left the path. Most probably they had smelled the track of some vermin. We went on for a while and then it started to get dark. That was bad indeed, and wether I wanted it or not I'd had to turn around, for I wasn't as blind as to ignore I was risking my neck.

Right ahead of me a fork in the road appeared, and the dogs went mad. They started to bark and run in circles, sniffing, and finally disappeared through that small path that disappeared among the trees and bushes. I called them, alarmed, but they didn't return; neither screams nor threats forced those stupid beasts to obey. I decided to follow them, cursing, in the hope they had just tracked a rabbit and weren't very far away. It there were any danger, I was trying to convince myself, they wouldn't be as idiotic as to run towards it, right?

And night was getting closer... I cursed my animals again as I made my way among the branches. At least that narrow path was in use, because the ground was trod, but the undergrowth caused me some scratches. As soon as I could lay my hands on them, I would sentence them to a day without food.

Finally I found them. They were standing besides a tree, very still, and growled. I was about to cast a string of insults upon them, but something in their attitude stopped me. They seemed to be watching something, so I scanned for the object of their attention.

Then I saw it. Some metres away there was another dog, a fairly big one, grey, very eye-catching. It was staring at my mongrels, though much more calmly, and when I appeared it also looked at me. Well, obviously he had caught my scent long time ago, keeping in mind how quiet he was, simply staying there, its eyes fixed on us.

It suddenly disappeared. It ran away through the trees, like a grey shadow, and didn't leave any trace behind. So that was what had caught my beasts' attention... I turned to them and started to shout anything that came to my mind, and still couldn't manage to make them follow me. My patience was wearing thin...

I was about to kick those swines' backsides, but they surely read my thoughts because they shot out like a bat out of hell. That's right what I thought: what the hell...? No matter how much I tried to explain it, the way they had run for it, their ears drooping, wasn't normal. But I couldn't be help up any more; I decided to retrace my steps to the main road while there was still some light and trust we all would return home safe and sound.

Then I got the fright of my life: someone grabbed my arm. Without prior warning, without a sign of his presence there, in complete silence. I guess the expression of relief that crossed my face in that moment would have made anyone laugh, for he was none other than Andrey; and I guess the scarce seconds I needed to turn pale again would have delighted any physiognomist, because my cousin was giving me the most irate gaze I had ever seen. In fact the strength he was using to hold me was so excessive that I was starting to notice my face contorting with pain.

'I warned you, I warned you clearly, I commanded you not to come here alone! Damn it! And now...!'

I thought he'd beat the hell out of me to the point of rending me unconscious. I give you my word, Elias, that I shook as if he were going to kill me right there. And he jumped on me indeed; everything I could do was protecting my face with my free hand.

But he wasn't going to beat me up. He was just trying to stand between me and something that loomed up in the trees. In number of three, to be precise. No, I didn't took them for dogs this time. I had never seen a wolf before, but I was almost sure those big animals, with their brown furs and piercing orange and blue eyes, were wolves. Their fangs, their long fangs, were bare, and they growled.

I continued trembling, although not as violently. It is such a paradox, isn't it? Three enormous wolves were threatening us and I was calming down a little bit. And yet it made sense for me, in that situation, since I was sure my cousin would keep us safe. It might look naive, but I was convinced. And besides... I really preferred to face anything but Andrey's angry face. The beasts growled and growled...

... And so did Andrey. I can't find a better word, true, he growled. Throaty sounds came out of his mouth, not as if he were trying to intimidate the wolves, but as if he pretended to communicate with them. Was that a warden skill? No, I didn't know what to think either.

The worst was yet to come. The worst, when I noticed Andrey's nails cruelly piercing my arm until it bled, and then releasing me... The thing that drove me into madness, when he turned around and I saw that animal sparkle in his eyes, and I thought I could see his long canines growing twice their size as he hissed 'Run!'.

I had been foolish, though I wasn't a coward. I wasn't going to leave him alone facing those animals, and nothing in the world could have forced me to obey that. Nothing but...

His body changed, grew, got covered in hair. His clothes were simply ripped to shreds, unable to contain the overflowing mass; his head sank between a couple of prodigiously wide shoulders; his hands turned into huge claws with fearful nails; the joint of his knees changed into a quadruped's one... It is unbelievable the amount of details your brain can collect even under pressure. There I was, when I should have started to run for my life, letting my eyes wander along the grey fur of that three metres tall humanoid beast Andrey was transmuted into. On the other hand, what else could I do? Terror, but also disbelief, had nailed me to the spot. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the wolves were also increasing in size.

That creature turned around again. Upon seeing what my cousin's face had become, my blood ran cold. Any similarity between a human face and that... But when his huge jaws faced me and shouted again 'Run!' with a voice closer to a howl than to anything else...

The terror that had been paralysing me so far seemed to give me wings in that second. I ran; I ran away as fast as I could. I don't know which saint, spirit or supernatural being had decided to grant my feet the grace of choosing the right direction, but they did. I didn't look back, so scared I was, but I was aware that whatever Andrey was now, he had jumped on those beasts. In fact that was the last conscious thought my brain registered in a long time. I heard sounds of fight...

I ran all the way back home. When I arrived I locked myself up in my room. My lungs were burning so much that I could barely breath, that I thought I would choke right in that moment. Still, the sound of my desperate attempts to breath in wasn't enough to quieten the roar of my heartbeat. I can't remember much, except that I curled up, hugging my knees, frightened at the vision of one of those beasts crossing the door and ripping my heart out, spraying scraps of flesh and gushes of blood. I was unable to sleep that night. I couldn't even stop shaking.

At dawn I got into the bed and refused to leave it. I was feverish and no doubt my aspect ought to be pitiful, since my father decided to leave me alone. I couldn't have a bite to eat and spent the following hours with my nerves wrecked, alternatively staring at the window and the door.

What had happened to Andrey? Had he been possessed by an evil spirit? A demon? An oborot, a werewolf? I had never had any contact with the supernatural. I was vaguely conscious of our priest's constant warnings in the church: 'beware of all evil'. Was that what he meant? Had the demon come to tempt me, incarnate in the person of my cousin? Did he intend to devour my soul?

Fever made me spent the rest of the day delirious. At nightfall, when the umpteenth nightmare assaulted me despite my open eyes, I jumped out of the bed. My clothes were drenched in sweat, but I didn't bother to change. I left the house surreptitiously and started to walk. I had made up my mind.

I didn't care if Andrey was a demon, a spirit or Baba Yaga's herald himself. There in the forest he had protected me from those beasts. I knew him since I was a kid, he had been my first friend, my first... my first and only lover. Maybe there was a logical explanation, maybe it had been a dream, a nightmare. I had to find him and talk to him.

I arrived to the sanctuary and stopped abruptly. The door was open and here and there, spread along the path, there were dark red drops. I held my breath, took a little step, then another one. I peeked into the room.

Andrey was there, huddled up in a corner. He was naked and covered in dry blood, his messy hair hiding his face, and although his folded legs wouldn't let me see, it was obvious he was wounded. I started at him in silence. He raised his head and stared back, his big eyes open wide. He was surprised of finding me there. I turned around very slowly.

'Please... please, Tosha... don't go...' he asked me, with pleading voice.

'Wait, I'm bringing something to clean you.'

And so I did. As easy as that. I ran to the house, caught some clean cloth, needle, thread and something to wear. I returned to the sanctuary, where my cousin was anxiously waiting for me. He seemed to breath a sigh of relief as I crossed the door; his cheeks regained some colour.

I knelt besides him, noticing his eyes fixed on me, but none of us dared to talk. I forced him to stretch his arms and legs. Wounds covered his body, the most horrible being a mark of claws crossing his abdomen from side to side. It didn't bleed any more but it was still open. I swallowed hard, trying to pluck up courage, grabbed a bottle of vodka and used it to clean his wounds. He clenched his teeth to bear the pain. Finally he spoke again.

'I thought... you wouldn't want to see me again.'

I remained silent. I just took the needle and the thread and got ready to sew those huge furrows. I hadn't learnt with breathing and moving beings, but was very familiar with the art of sewing. To my surprise he stopped me.

'No. Among my people, scars are a source of pride.'

'It was my fault you got them.' I swallowed again, holding the urge to snivel. 'Every time you see them...'

'... Every time I see them I'll remember that, thanks to them, my most important person in the world didn't suffer any harm.'

Finally I looked him in the eyes; the very same hazel eyes, unchanged. He raised his hand shyly, unsure about if he should dare to touch me. I didn't move, but started at the soft touch on my cheek.

'It wasn't a dream, right?' I asked, gathering courage. 'In the forest... that thing really happened, didn't it?'

'Yes...'

'You are... what... what are you, Andrey?'

'Garou.'

He told me the most unbelievable story I had ever heard in my life, Elias. That the name folklore gave to his kind was oborot, werewolf, or Garou, as they called themselves. That it was a birth trait, and those superstitions about infected bites, rituals under the moonlight and similar ideas were fake. My mother's family had werewolf blood, can you believe it? I, for all the Antediluvians, belonged to a family of those beings... yet the heredity was transmitted only to a few of them. Like my cousin, those few possessed the ability to shape shift, from a wolf to that monstrous beast he had metamorphosed into, and other special gifts. Well, I already updated you about them. It's easier for you to believe those things, regarding your present circumstances. For me... it wasn't that simple. I was scared. I was also hurt, since Andrey had never told me anything.

'I wanted to do it, Tosha, I really did,' he said. 'But my people, my pack, wouldn't allow me, because you don't belong to our world but to your father's, and he's a normal human, like Lyuba, like you... Besides I was... I was so scared of losing you... And now... Please, Tosha, forgive me. I know what you must think after what you saw, but believe me, I'd never hurt you, I'd rather rip my own heart out. Everything started to fall apart when I saw you in the forest because I knew they were hanging around, and they might hurt you, or you wouldn't stand to witness my... transformation. I thought that you'd take me for a demon, that you would keep your distance after that. I crawled here because my only wish was staying in a place with your scent, but I never dreamt...' His hand dived inside my hair, his voice became expectant. 'May I... may I cherish some hope? May I foster this crazy idea that you won't run away from me? My life is in your hands. Please, I'll do whatever you want, Tosha, anything you ask from me...'

It's strange: sometimes the importance we give to things is so relative. There he was, begging me to accept the fact he was a werewolf. And what was I thinking? That surely he had saved my life. That undoubtedly he loved me and I loved him as much. That, despite everything, he was still the same... But I was also thinking he didn't trust me enough. Isn't it funny? I could forgive him for stretching up to three metres tall and growing hair and claws, but not for hiding the fact that his family was looking for a wife for him.

I didn't bite my tongue. I told him I didn't know, I had too many things to think about, he had too many explanations to offer me. He solemnly swore he would answer all my questions, and there was so much anxiety, so much hope in his promises, that I couldn't help but feeling moved. But then I told him point-blank that his family would never accept us to have such a... sincere relationship, since they wanted to marry him the sooner the better. He went pale.

'It's true,' he admitted, 'it's true they tried to press me to do it, they expect it from me. However, you didn't hear the whole story, Tosha. I gave my word I'd protect my people and our land, I'd honour our rites, I'd remain loyal to my kin. But I also told them I'd never accept a wife, and I'll willingly endure any punishment for it if I have to, even exile. As long as we both live there can only be a person for me, and that person is you.'

A chill ran down my spinal cord, starting right under his fingers. I leaned over him, careful not to reopen his wounds. I wanted to touch him, hug him, kiss him... and I wasn't bold enough.

He was. He pulled my nape gently down and planted his lips on mine. His kiss was very soft; it had a slightly metallic flavour.

Things didn't go back to normal as easily, I must say. I might be willing to admit Andrey's peculiarity and the unexpected revelation about my family, but I always shivered under the contact of his hands. To a subconscious level I still was terrified of that creature I had seen him turning into, and would need more time to get used to it. He knew it, and thought it was hurtful for him, he took care of keeping his distance, allowing me to be the one who'd shorten it little by little. Nevertheless I guess he had reasons to thank the Creator, the saints, Mother Earth and whoever he prayed to because I hadn't run away from him.

He kept his promise and taught me as much as he could about the Garou. His family never became friendly with me, not only because they thought I wouldn't keep their secret, but also because they suspected -and it was a well-founded suspicion- I was the reason why Andrey didn't follow in his brothers' steps. Only his uncle would greet me from time to time. He was an intimidating well-built man, as big as my cousin and, as Andrey had revealed me, a werewolf like him. In fact it was him the one I had seen in the forest, that imposing grey dog that had run away after I had found it; with the intention of warning the rest of the pack, as I knew later.

My cousin had to continue with his duties as warden, despite his wounds, and he was more needed than ever. I couldn't understand it very well: if those three beings in the forest were werewolves like him, why did they attack us? Were Garou at war with each other? He told me that happened enough times, and sometimes blood was spilled among members of different tribes. But the reason why those foreigner werewolves had pretended to attack me was different. They had smelled my father's trade on me and that had made them even more nervous than they already were. I'd have laughed if that hadn't been terrifying.

Those strangers had gone deep into my... relative's territory chasing a group of vampires. Yes, news about the existence of other supernatural creatures stroke me and added even more confusion to my already messed brain. But vampires, Andrey explained, were particularly inhuman and dangerous, and that sort they were tracking, even more. To be infected with their blood was a destiny much worse than death for a Garou. The forest wasn't a safe place in normal conditions, and with those leeches, as he called them, hanging around there, even less. He was very serious when he told me I didn't have to venture going out alone, nor even to our sanctuary. If I held my life dear, I had to obey him.

And so I did, even if thinking I was locked up and he was outside, exposing himself to that madness, was unbearable for me. I roamed around inside those walls like a caged animal. I cursed my weak and useless body more than ever. I cursed the lack of Garou strength in the blood that ran through my veins...

Only one new distracted me from all that, and not a very good one: Lyuba's belly was starting to grow. I got to hear the women in the kitchen gossiping, speculating about the father's identity. But I was informed, and no matter how disturbed I was feeling, I had to display an indifferent face and pretend I knew nothing. I couldn't help but admire Father's cold blood, whose composed behaviour never revealed the truth to anyone. To anyone, but me.

On a certain night my father told me someone from the village had seen some tramps around the former drying place. As it was only me in the house and Lyuba was feeling sick, could I go and have a look? The idea of disobeying Andrey didn't exactly fascinate me, but there was no point in discussing with Father either, so I sighed, took a lamp and, after some consideration, an axe, and went out double quick, determined to come back as soon as possible.

There was a full moon and the extra light wasn't even needed. Everything was in silence, although I restlessly looked around, worried about the things I could find. I was holding the axe so tightly that my fingers had stiffened up around the wood. Just some more steps...

Under the closed door of the sanctuary I could see a thread of dim light. I swallowed; it could be those tramps my father was talking about, yet it could also be Andrey tidying himself up after a day in the forest. I racked my brain deciding what to do. Should I have a look? Should I go for help? What would have my cousin done? He'd had gone in, no doubt. But he'd be able to face a pack of wolves if necessary, and you're nothing but a weakling brat, a voice in my head was saying. And what will you do? Hiding behind him your entire life? Be a man and go in, they are just tramps, another voice was saying. I had already left the lamp on the ground and was holding the door handle. I pushed.

Four faces were looking in my direction as I stuck my head inside the room, or rather, three, for one of them was hooded. Indeed they looked like common beggars who had just forced the door, lit a fire and take a seat around, at a safe distance. One of them was a very handsome young boy, whose almond-shaped eyes betrayed his eastern origin; another one was a middle-aged man with some grey hair along his temples; the third one was a skinny, dark-haired man; I couldn't make out a thing of the fourth. That hooded person was comfortably installed on the seat with the rabbit fur, where Andrey and I used... That made me furious. I held the axe tight and decided to tell them that was a private property and they had to leave.

Someone seized my weapon and banged the door shut behind me, someone I hadn't seen so far. I turned to my right, surprised, and found a young female watching me from the shadows; she was toying with my axe, with an unpleasant smile on her face. Clearly she had been waiting for me besides the door... Suddenly I didn't feel so brave any more, because they were five, and that girl had disarmed me so easily. I tried to recover my weapon, but someone grabbed my arm: the dark-haired guy that had been sitting by the fire one second ago was now so close to me.

'Look what a little present they left at the door,' said the woman, mockingly. 'Breakfast, maybe?'

'It'd be hardly enough for us all, but it's a start,' answered the guy that was grabbing me, whose strength didn't match his build at all. 'And he came armed, what a cocky young man.'

'It might be a waste if we don't play with him a bit before we eat,' observed the aged one. 'Such beautiful honey-coloured eyes. I want to have a close look.'

'Bring him here,' commanded the hooded one, with the deepest and weirdest voice I ever heard.

The man holding me ran to obey his companion. I found myself on my knees in front of him, those skinny iron arms pinning me down, and there wasn't a damn think I could do about it. The hooded one raised a hand and grabbed my chin, and I felt my blood running cold in my veins, for that hand wasn't human at all. It was more like a claw, with long, slim fingers and huge, black nails, sharp as a bird of prey's. But the most terrifying trait was the row of spines that crossed its back, from his fingers to his wrist, disappearing inside the sleeve of his strange robe. Those horrible nails pierced my skin, preventing me from struggling. I stood still, despite my heart was about to burst inside my chest, asking to myself how could I have been so stupid. Praying for Andrey not to be too far away.

That being pulled his hood down. If I had thought I had been scared so far...

Because there's wasn't much humanity left on that face. Nor a single hair grew on it; instead, more thick spines crossed his bald skull, down his forehead to the bridge of his... of whatever he had for a nose. He had no ears, barely two holes at both sides of his head. His eyes were two black spheres, and despite they had no pupils I knew they were piercing me. His skin was purplish and his teeth... oh, those shark teeth made me shiver, and his fangs were so prominent I doubt he could keep his mouth closed. Was that... monster a vampire? And why did his companions look normal? And why the hell should that matter? I was going to die. I was going to die unless a miracle happened.

'Your face is so beautiful, yet it could be improved,' whispered that creature whose gender I wouldn't have been able to identify, since even his voice sounded ambiguous and inhuman. 'Wouldn't it be a pity if we closed these pretty eyes forever? What's wrong, boy? Are you scared of me? Don't you think I'm a beauty, in my own way?'

He shut up suddenly. Something seemed to catch his attention , something from the outside. And also the other's. The guy that was grabbing me threw me aside, and I literally flew away and crashed against one of the walls, while those intruders stood alert. I landed on one side, my head spinning.

An incredible strength detached the door from its frame and impelled it inside the room. Something blocked the door, something huge... I think the woman and the skinny one sprang at that. But then the roof collapsed without prior warning and another of those big beasts fell on the Mongolian boy. The eldest guy stuck his long fangs into the creature's hairy shoulder, making it howl in a way that would have chilled anyone's blood. Yet another one of those enormous nightmares fell through the hole of the roof; I think I saw the skinny man flying and landing on the fireplace; I think he also howled...

But the most strange thing was what the spiked vampire did. I wouldn't have bet the devil my head then, as I had just smashed it against the wall and was distracted watching the most Dantesque scene ever. And yet, I believed I saw him melting... That's right, he melted into a pool of red, sticky blood, and filtered through the hollows of the ground, leaving his dark robe behind. I couldn't see anything else, thanks to all the saints, because I sank into the kind lethargy of unconsciousness.

When I woke up I was in the forest, near a stream that flowed close to the edge. How did I get there? The answer to my question came soon, upon seeing Andrey leaning over me. He was stripping me without any consideration, examining every part of my body as they became exposed. I didn't understand what was he expecting to see in the night, no matter how bright the moon were, but that dim light seemed to be enough for him. I was about to complain, but when I noticed his frown and tight jaws my protest died before it ever crossed my lips.

Once I was stark naked and his inspection was over, he harshly seized my chin and asked, his eyes burning with anger:

'Did you swallow any blood of those leeches? Even if just one drop? Don't lie to me, Anton.'

I shook my head. I was scared. I'd just gone through such a trial and my cousin was treating me like that. I understood he ought to be furious for my disobedience but, didn't he hear my heart beating like mad? And my answer didn't seem to soothe him. He sniffed me and grimaced with disgust.

'You reek of undead scum...'

He threw me headfirst into the water. It was frozen. When I emerged, opening my mouth and shivering, he grabbed my shoulder and shook me.

'I told you to stay inside the house, there's always one of our people on watch. But you... don't you understand had we arrived one minute later, you might be...?'

'Father told me to go check if...' I answered, in a tiny voice. 'I'm... I'm sorry.'

Then I realised he was also naked. Andrey had been one of the huge beings... of the Garou that had attacked the vampires. I had to be grateful because he only had a couple of flesh wounds. As for the rest of the injuries, they were completely healed; only the one along his abdomen had left big scars. I bit my lip, remembering why they were there. Andrey looked at me in silence, although his eyes spoke more clearly than any reproach he could throw my way. Finally he released me.

I got out of the water and hugged my knees, trembling. Andrey decided that he also needed a bath, or that he was also stinking, as he took my place inside the stream plunging into the water. While he was sticking his head out, his hair splashing water everywhere, I gathered enough presence of mind as to look at him and appreciate the beauty of that wet body, shining under the moonlight. Truth was we hadn't been together since that episode in the forest. I had been scared of reopening his wounds, and also, no point in denying it, of what he was. But he was healed, and I was young, and well, I still wanted him.

He noticed my gaze. His became suddenly hungry, as if he had just been waiting for my signal. Grabbing my wrists he separated them from my knees, and pulled my legs towards him. He jumped out of the water and placed himself between them, resting his arms along my sides. His body, his face so close, his breath, my own lust... made me get warm so fast that I forgot I was naked and soaking wet besides a river in the middle of a forest. Andrey kissed me, pushing his long tongue inside my mouth, that was awaiting for it. It didn't take him long to lay on my chest, seizing my buttocks, raising them and spreading them to gain access to the path that had been denied to him for a long time. He penetrated me in one go, and I'd have screamed hadn't been his lips gagging mine. He started to thrust abruptly; I still didn't know, but it was hard to get rid of the influence of the full moon...

Then he slowed the pace, his movements still intense yet much gentler as he regained his self-control. He let go of my lips and placed a soft kiss on them, as an apology. As for me, everything I could do was moaning with pleasure, holding him, grabbing his long wet hair to keep his body close to mine... Angels and demons, how much had I missed him...

That monstrous vampire I believed I had seem melting in a pool of blood had run away. My cousin came to bring me the news in the next evening, after an intense day of hunting. His visit was very opportune to explain Father again why the former drying place had become a wreck.

I just dared to go back to our sanctuary in broad daylight, accompanied by him. It was so hard for me to watch it know, the room where we had spent so many nights, the seat with the rabbit fur, where Andrey and I... It could never be the same, not after what had happened. He rested a hand on my shoulder and whispered that he'd find soon a new sanctuary for us, that it shouldn't matter and that, in fact, the night besides the stream had been the most pleasurable he remembered in ages. I answered, still nervous, that there wasn't anything special about it, as it had been ages since the last time we had done it. He laughed and so did I, but I couldn't help feeling scared. The creature with eyes like an abyss was still on the loose.

Some weeks passed. As Lyuba's pregnancy went forward, Father wouldn't leave her side. The responsibility for the family business fell on me, so I had to visit the village more often. And since Andrey was worried about my safety, he used to come with me in most of the occasions. One evening, when we were about to return home, one of his relatives asked him to accompany him to deal with some small family issue. There was always somebody watching over my family, and a boy had come with us driving the cart, so he allowed me to go ahead. He also warned me not to stop on my way there, lock the door and wait for him, as he'd be back as soon as possible.

I remember we drove back without incidents. Night had fallen some time ago when we got there, and everything was quiet. I sent the boy to take care of the horse and I went in.

Nobody came to receive me; well, Father would surely be with my half-sister and the women wouldn't miss a chance to loaf around a bit. I took off my zipun and paid a visit to the kitchen, because I was hungry. There was a cooking-pot on the fire, buy nobody around. Strange... Was Lyuba feeling sick and they were taking care of her? But then I could surely hear some screams, as noisy as those women were. Anyway I decided to go to her room and have a look.

I walked up the stairs. Everything was still silent, but there was light coming from Lyuba's bedroom. The door was open, so I didn't bother to warn them about my presence, I just went I . But as soon as I crossed the threshold I had to stop sharply.

The women were there, lying on the floor, in such unnatural positions that they frightened me. They were clearly dead; they wouldn't move, and their open eyes were fixed on the ceiling or the walls. Some wounds barely covered in blood in their necks and wrists revealed they way in which they had been attacked. But that wasn't the worst, because sitting very stiff on a chair, as if he were watching the show, was Serguéy, my father. Again his wounds were so small and there was so little blood that they didn't even seem to be the cause of his... of his death. For he was also dead, those glassy and distorted open eyes gazing into space. I know I was a jerk, I know I should have run right in that precise moment... but I didn't. I was as foolish as approaching Father's body, touching it, checking he didn't breath. Closing his eyes.

Now I understand trying to run away would have been pointless anyway, and the result would have been the same. Most probably it was like that, and yet... possibly that action would have prevented me to watch something that was beyond my father's body, in the adjacent room, and spared me the nightmares that haunted me later.

Lyuba's body was there, on the floor. Unlike the rest, it was more than obvious she was dead, resting in the middle of such a horrible pool of blood. Her pale, lifeless skin was almost entirely covered in red; Her eyes, frozen into a gaze of terror. The wounds in her neck were so savage that it seemed like a pack of rabid animals had taken delight in tormenting her. I wished I hadn't looked down, I wished I had stopped there... The way in which her killer had taken her baby out of her body... what he had done to the poor child... That... that...

A claw at my back gripped my neck when I was about to faint. They were squeezing too tight, the huge claws were piercing my flesh and I noticed own blood flowing. That strange voice I had been unable to forget whispered to my ear:

'I greet you once more, boy. You arrive in time for the party; I'm already sated, although I think I can make room for a little bit more. Don't worry, it will hurt, but it will be an exquisite pain..'

That said, he sank his sharp teeth into my neck. He lied: it was painful, painful to the point it made me scream in agony. He took good care to make it like that, I assure you. He was well aware of how to do it so that the suffering were brutal and shook my whole body, and so thorough that no merciful faint would give me any relief. Oh, now I know very well he was an expert.

I the end I felt like dying, but not too early. And I noticed a strange taste in my mouth, as if I had swallowed a gulp of my own blood. That's what I believed then. But it didn't last long.

The creature released me abruptly and I slipped down to the floor. I barely keep any memories from then on, only shreds of images, snippets of sounds and words... Growls and howls that seemed to come from far away, despite sounding in that very same room; stir of fight; spattering of something hot and sticky on my skin; and the pain... I remember the pain cruelly twisting inside of me, and my body being so weak that I didn't have any strength left to bend or cry... I remember a sudden silence, and someone desperately calling my name in the distance...

'... bitten, Andrey... late... swallowed blood...' My ears grasped some loose words pronounced by a voice that wasn't completely unknown to me. '... you know it... kill him...'

The merciful faint came in the worst moment.

I woke up. I opened my eyes at once. I didn't know where I was, but it looked like a cave, and a lamp lit up the bare rock walls. I looked at my own body, the clothes covered in dry blood I was wearing. I noticed the stench I was giving off and felt sick. Yet the bad smell wasn't actually the reason, but hunger, the huge emptiness in my stomach, so intense I had to take my hands to my belly and tighten my teeth... And then I realised I had stuck my own canines into my lip. How was that possible? I raised my hands and touched them; and they were...

I panicked. You can guess what I was feeling right them, Elias. I was touching the length of my huge canines, and I was terrified. I looked at my fingers and saw some drops of my own blood on them, and everything I wanted... was licking them. And so I did. The taste of my own blood was making me die of desire.

Someone entered the rock chamber where I was. I jumped, in the hope it'd be Andrey, but he wasn't. Who...? Ah, yes, his uncle. The voice I had heard in my delirium belonged to him.

'Andrey? Where's Andrey?' I asked, amazed at the sound of my own voice.

'He isn't coming.' I looked at him, alarmed, because I thought something had happened to him, but he continued. 'Listen, Anton, listen what I have to tell you, because this is the most important thing you've ever heard. That leech bit you. Do you know what happens when a vampire bites you? You do, Andrey surely told you. And do you know what happens if the vampire feeds you then with his own blood? Do you know, boy?'

I nodded very slowly. I noticed I ran out of breath. Isn't that funny? I had no breath to lose, and I thought I was doing it. If I hadn't been stone-cold already I'd have noticed my body freezing as well.

'Us the Garou are the vampires' enemies because they are the enemy of every alive creature. Becoming one is one of the worst curses that can fall upon us. It'd have been better for you if he had killed you. I'd had killed you myself, and that would have been a compassionate act.'

'But Andrey didn't allow me to do it. He offered his whole life at our tribe's disposal if I spared yours. He begged me. Boy, we believed we had lost him somehow when he set his eyes on you. I am not so naive, I know very well what was going on between you both.'

What was going on? Oh for every saint in the sky's sake, why was he using past tense?, I was thinking. Andrey... where were you?

'To allow you to live in exchange of having him back seemed a fair deal to me. I know him, and I know he'd had been able to let himself die if I hadn't agreed. He's my nephew, and very dear to me. This will surely bring me problems with my people, but I can't see what else I can do.'

'Don't look at the entrance, he isn't coming. You're a newborn vampire, who knows the crazy things you could do. You could try to bite him, and he could let you do it... I'm not risking that.'

'I'll be sincere: you don't have many chances to survive without a mentor. Leaving you alone would almost be death penalty for you, so I'll leave you close to a place where your kind dwells, where the cursed lineage of that leech you were unfortunate to be bitten by dwells. You'll have to manage. And keep yourself away from here, Anton. I choose to spare your life now, but if I see you trying to approach Andrey I may choose to finish it. If you ever appreciated him, you'll do as I say and save him and yourself from further suffering.'

I think I didn't keep listening. Leaving? To undertake an existence that I judged horrible? And, above all, far away from him? Why didn't he simply kill me right there? What was the point of it all? Andrey... My Andrey...

But I let him do as he had planned. I didn't want to finish my existence, not if that could risk Andrey's one. I wanted him to live. I didn't mind to be a damn spawn from hell if I knew he was still living somewhere under the same sky as me. He might even think of me, now and then; he might remember me with affection, as the Tosha I once was.

I also thought it was unlikely for me to survive that trial. You may consider yourself lucky, but I assure you in that time, in that place, our people were even more brutal than they can be nowadays.

But I survived. I joined a group of nomads, one of which belonged to our lineage. He taught me everything I had to know, gave me everything I needed.

Except a reason to go on. Time goes on differently when you're an immortal, Elias. And when you're a young one, who needs every minute of every night to learn to keep himself alive and sane, it does it even more strangely. I must confess I felt curious about many things I discovered through those years; and I felt equally grossed with other stuff I was forced to do. What I want to say is that I kept myself busy, active. I didn't lie on the road to wait for the sunrise. I fought, I kicked, I bit.

I did it for him. I cherished the hope, the tiny, but real hope I could see him again one day. I dreamt of him looking at me, saying my name. I wished he hadn't forgotten me.

Twenty years later, and despite the nightmare my existence had turned into, my feelings for him hadn't changed. And then... I had a chance to leave my own pack and go back to my village, to Arzamás, the only place in the world where I could lie down to sleep right on its soil, on the blessed soil that saw me growing up.

I was very cautious, believe me. I had learnt to control my new abilities. I assumed a totally different identity, and although I wasn't expecting to deceive a werewolf about my true nature, I tried to keep myself away from them. I just wanted a chance to gaze at him, even if just from a distance.

And I had it... by Cain, I had it. I recognised him right away, despite years had made him age. Some wrinkles had appeared on his face, some silver threads on his temples. I think I recognised old scars and discovered new ones. But it was him, unmistakably: tall, imposing, attractive... My Andrey.

In all those years, If I ever regretted deeply not having a heartbeat any more, it was right then, in that precise moment I saw him.

I made some inquiries. Someone told me that he still did the same job, that he was married -my Andrey, married...-, that he had several children... I'm not going to say I didn't expect it, but the confirmation was like a blow for me. I endured it stoically though. I discreetly followed him to a more isolated place. Then I decided I wouldn't approach him, I wouldn't reveal him who I was. I wasn't going to disturb his life with my intrusion.

But he turned around, he turned around and identified me as what I was, a vampire, one of those hideous beings he couldn't help but hate. He had no means of knowing who I was, because I had modelled my flesh and adopted another appearance; he couldn't remember my scent since I wasn't a human any more; he thought I was... right that, an enemy. It didn't take him long to rush towards me, grab my neck and pin me against a trunk. It wasn't so bad, I thought, I could let him kill me, end my suffering in that very moment. He'd go on with his life and I... would go to burn in hell or maybe to purify myself in Purgatory, if I was lucky enough to fall in merciful hands. But I was weak. I couldn't stand the idea of... I had kept going through all those years in the hope of hearing him saying my name once more.

'Andrey...' I whispered, 'it's me...'

His hands squeezed more tightly, in the fear I were going to use some trick on him.

'It's me... Tosha...'

He stopped at once. His hands froze on my neck as he stared at me, incredulous, because I'd used my same old voice, and my appearance returned to be the same one he had known, the same boy from twenty years ago he recalled.

'This is no trick, Andrey... It's me... I'm sorry...'

'Anton? Tosha?' He still couldn't believe it. 'Is it really you?'

'I'm sorry...' I repeated. 'I just wanted to see you... I... if you want I'll leave now, or you can hand me over to your people, if you prefer, or you can...' My voice became a whisper. 'or you can do whatever you want with me...'

Andrey swallowed. He still couldn't accept it was me and not an impostor stealing his memories, or any other ruse of the like. But he let go of my neck and dragged me away.

I couldn't believe my eyes. He dragged me to our sanctuary.

He had repaired the place. I expected the lock to be rusty, but the key worked just fine. Then I imagined the room would be a ruin, but it was an almost exact copy of what it had been when it belonged to us. There was a rabbit fur blanket even...

I walked there without thinking and stroked it. I could almost feel the pain in my chest, the need to cry those tears I no longer had. I turned to him...

Andrey did have them. For the first time in my life I saw him crying. He had recognised me, accepted it was truly me, who had survived somehow. Despite I wasn't a human any more, despite I wasn't his Tosha any more, he had recognised me.

But he still was my Andrey. I approached him, for I couldn't bear to cause him pain, and dared to slip my thumbs along his cheeks. I stood on tiptoes and wiped that moisture with my lips.

He embraced me. I almost felt him trembling as he wrapped his arms around that cold, stiff, beatless thing my body had turned into, but that didn't make him back out. His fingers sank into my hair, my back, my waist, every part of me that came under them. As for me, I also held him, and I could smell the sweet scent I still remembered, and listen to his heart against my chest. It was the most intoxicating sensation I was able to imagine, the most incredible temptation I had had to overcome.

Although I would have never hurt him. I knew if I ventured a bite, even the tiniest drop of blood on my tongue, I'd risk to enter a frenzy that would wipe my sanity and make me become a danger for us both. So powerful is werewolf blood. No, I would have never hurt him, I would have preferred to pull off my own head with my own hands. That hug had to be more than enough. And I had heard my name from his lips. And he... he hadn't forgotten me.

'Tosha...'

He kissed me. Why did I allow him to do it? My kiss was cold and dry, and would leave the taste of death in his tongue. But that didn't make him back out either. Oh, Andrey...

He didn't say much. What could he say? We both knew what we were feeling. We both knew it was impossible. As long as we both live there can only be a person for me, those had been his words. But the truth, Elias, was that I was already dead.

I kept visiting him from time to time. His uncle had passed out, but I met his children. He taught them to tolerate me, since we shared the same blood after all.

I saw him growing old. It hurt me, and so did to him, but I couldn't keep myself away from him.

I saw him dying. He died in my arms, in that same room, in that sanctuary where I had put myself in his own arms for the first time, when I was fifteen. Faithful to his word, he had delivered his life to his kin. But his death was delivered to me. It was the only beautiful death, the only truly pure and pristine one I ever had in my hands.

Tosha finally stopped speaking. His mind no longer oozed pain because of that story. It had been too long ago, and just a memory for him; the only beautiful memory he had before he had met Phidias, yet nothing but a memory. His old companion was well aware of it, but Elias was very young and hadn't learnt to use his abilities. He hugged his maker with the saddest look the Russian had ever seen in those alluring dark eyes. He answered to it, stroking his black mane, and smiled.

'Enough, now! There, there! I didn't tell you this to make you whimper like an abandoned puppy. It happened a long time ago. Moreover I got something very good from all that. I still visit Arzamás, and always managed to keep in contact. I still belong there, Elias, there are still people who share my blood. The children's children's children's...

'But you were really in love with him... You just said his death was the most beautiful thing you ever had in your arms...' Elias really looked like he was about to whimper.

'Eh, I never used those words, think twice. Besides, how can that matter now? You are the one now in my arms. I can't think of anything better to fill them.'

Elias finally smiled. Tosha raised his eyes and fixed them on those grey ones that were serenely looking at him. In fact I can indeed think of a way, a small way to improve this, the blond vampire thought.

The corners of Phidias' mouth raised. Approaching Elias' back he kissed one of his shoulders; those same lips travelled to the Russian's ones and delicately brushed them.

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